


All the many shades of Night

by acrisisofbeholding



Series: All the Shades [2]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Ace Subtype - Sex Positive, Aftercare, Artist Gerry, Asexual Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Biting, Bottom Gerard Keay, Canon Asexual Character, Cuddles, Demisexual Gerard Keay, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Hair-pulling, Hickeys, Librarian Jon, Library Sex, M/M, Multi, No beta we die like archival assistants, Polyamory, Semi-Public Sex, Soft Dom Martin Blackwood, Sub Gerry Keay, Switch Jonathan "Jon" Sims, They just all love each other - Freeform, Top Martin Blackwood, Trans Male Character, Trans Martin Blackwood, Unsafe Sex, Vaginal Sex, alternative universe, but still, handjobs, it's in Jon's office
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:55:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29606283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acrisisofbeholding/pseuds/acrisisofbeholding
Summary: Gerry wonders if being in love can get any better.It certainly can.A series of intimate moments set in my All the Shades series.
Relationships: Gerard Keay/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay, Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Series: All the Shades [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2175105
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome here!  
> I plan to include any smutty moments from my orignal fic, All the many shades of Gerry Delano, as I feel inspired to write them. Some will be steamy scenes removed directly from the chapters, others will be more like random one-shots. Each chapter will be some combination of Jon/Gerry/Martin.  
> Tags to be added with updates.   
> First up: Martin and Gerry in the shower!  
> This first chapter is taken from Chapter 7: Purple, and some of that chapter is included here for context.   
> A note on my Martin:   
> Martin is a trans man, and considers himself fully transitioned.   
> He has had top surgery and feminine terminology is used for his genitalia. 
> 
> Cw's:   
> Shower sex.  
> Hair-pulling   
> Mutual hickeys.   
> Mid-scene boundary checks.

They are absolutely trashing Martin's bathroom, but he can't bring himself to mind. Not even if it costs him the security deposit on his ridiculous, tiny flat.   
Gerry is lounging in the empty bathtub, stripped to his briefs, laughing so hard that tears roll down his checks, tracking black eyeliner with them. Jon sits behind him on the edge of the tub and is desperately trying to keep track of which pieces of hair have been dyed while Gerry refuses to keep his head still. Martin is sitting on the floor next to them and holding the bowls of varying shades of purple dye.   
The dye itself is flying everywhere, between four hands attempting to apply it and Gerry's apparent inability to keep stationery and stop laughing for even one second.   
"Gerry! Keep still," Jon yells in his best teacher voice. His imperious tone is demanding, but the grin on his face undercuts it.   
"Can't," Gerry insists, pulling his head down (with dye-covered hands) to press their lips together. The kiss is sweet, but Jon doesn't appreciate all the new places it covers him in hair dye.   
"Gerry, it might all go more smoothly if you just let Jon and I do it for you," Martin advises him.   
Gerry pouts, "Letting the men in my life just do things without my participation wouldn't be a very 'strong independent woman' move on my part."  
"You're not a woman," Jon points out drolly, "Besides, what does that say about me, with the way you two are always arranging to pay for everything we do and everywhere we go?"  
"It says you have two incredibly attractive men who like to do nice things for you," Martin tells him firmly, as he always does when the topic arises. They all hear Jon's eyes roll.   
"Gerry," Martin starts in the voice he knows gets just the right response from him. "Stop being a brat and. Sit. Still."   
Gerry sits still. Martin kisses him to inspire continued good behavior, and Gerry's teal eyes practically glow in a way that fills Martin with supreme satisfaction.   
With their target stationary, Martin and Jon make quick work of Gerry's remaining hair.   
He is ordered to stay put in the bathtub while it sits, and Martin starts cleaning up the bathroom. Jon heads into the shower to avoid being dyed in a plethora of bizarre places.   
Martin goes to return the dye to Gerry's hair product box and pauses with his hand in it.   
Gerry, sensing Martin's distraction, jumps up to go over and stand behind him. Martin settles back into the warmth of his chest, and Gerry's arms snake around him.   
"You would look very fetching in that colour," he whispers enticingly in Martin's ear.   
"You think?" Martin murmurs back, eyebrows rising in consideration.   
"Yes," Gerry replies, leaning forward to bite his ear lightly. "Please."   
"Whatever might you two be consorting about over there," Jon demands cheerily, emerging from the shower wrapped in his towel.  
"Martin was just about to agree to become the next hair dying victim," Gerry informs him confidently, snaking an arm around Jon's shoulders and bringing him in close so he too can see the bottle sitting in Martin's hand.   
"Oh," Jon says in a reverent sort of voice. "Yes, I think that's a very good idea indeed."

Martin sits still much better than Gerry did, and Gerry does his hair himself, Jon having already rid himself of persistent stains and wandered off to make something for lunch.   
Gerry pushes Martin in front of a mirror (not Martin’s favourite pastime, but for Gerry, he suffers it) and they both look at him. The goth grins. “It’ll look better in the end obviously, but what do you think love?”  
“I like it, actually,” Martin whispers, like a confession.  
“Actually? I expect more self-confidence than that from my masterpieces, babe.” They laugh and sway together in front of the mirror.   
“I love it, thank you.” Martin turns in Gerry’s arms and they kiss slowly and thoroughly.   
Martin presses his hands along Gerry’s bare sides and up along his spine, where he knows a line of eyes is inked along each vertebra.   
Gerry keeps his hands on Martin’s chest, in an effort to keep their respective hair dye where it belongs, although his hands cling to Martin's shoulders and push and pull in response to their movements.   
“Really you two? I leave you alone for 5 minutes and you’re both half-naked and making out?” Jon interrupts them from the doorway, his words soft and appreciative.   
“We could be even more naked if you're interested in that?” Gerry offers, winking at him.   
“Could we?” Martin asks, apparently just wondering out loud.   
Gerry raises a suggestive eyebrow at him. “We definitely could be.” Gerry smirks, "You are familiar with how nudity works, yes?" He illustrates his point by pulling at the waistband of Martin's briefs and letting them snap back into his hip.   
"Yes, I am familiar," Martin growls into his mouth, biting his lip for good measure. "Care to join, Jon?"   
"Maybe when there's less hair dye on the table, so to speak. Gerry, your timer went off, you'd better jump into the shower and wash off."   
"Yes, sir." Gerry pecks Martin one last time, salutes Jon, and strips off to hop into the shower.   
Martin flushes at his casual nudity, and a heavy look passes between him and Jon.   
Taken with Martin's pink-laden head, Jon can't resist going over and pressing just one kiss to Martin's soft lips. He leaves, and Gerry and Martin are alone in the bathroom.   
Martin wonders if he imagined the encouragement that he felt pass from Jon's lips to his own, filling his chest with a bold anticipation.   
He knows Gerry is on the demi side of the queer spectrum and has felt the sexual tension between them building brightly as their feelings develop and grow. Having said that, neither of them has pushed for more than their sometimes sweet, sometimes frantic make-out sessions in the months since they had first kissed in Martin's sitting room.   
Jon, despite having slept with Gerry in the past, had expressed his goal to take their collective sex life very slowly, and Martin and Gerry had fallen into that same slowly building rhythm.   
And now Martin stands in the same room as a teasing, naked Gerry and knows he certainly hadn't imagined the sight of his erection as Gerry stepped into the shower.   
He understands that it isn't necessarily an invitation, but can't see the harm in offering one himself.   
"Gerry?"   
"Yes, Martin?" Gerry's voice seems vaguely echoey in the shower cubicle but still manages to convey his usual focused attention. It was that same attention that Martin loves to watch Gerry pour into his artwork and which had sparked his early adoration for him.   
"I was wondering, that is, would you be okay if I came in with you?"   
Gerry's movements, clear enough even through the frosted door, pause a moment. He reaches out and slides open the shower door. "Is that what you want?" Gerry asks him intently, being sure to make eye contact.   
"Yes. I do." Martin falls back into his Dom voice, as reassurance to himself, if nothing else. He wants to but still feels nervous stripping naked in front of new eyes.   
Gerry grins wickedly, obviously noticing. "Come on in then." He turns back to his hair washing, and Martin strips his remaining clothes off before stepping in behind him.   
Gerry is just rinsing out the shampoo, with his head bent back towards the water in a way that makes Martin want to cover his neck in bruises.   
It's not that big of a shower, and they find themselves pressed in close almost as soon as Martin shuts the door. In fact, of the three showers between them, Martin thinks that his own is probably the least appropriate for shared bathing. Nothing for it now though, since they're already here.   
Gerry turns slightly to face Martin and they each take a moment to look at each other, even slightly crowded as they are.   
Gerry is built a bit like a lumberjack, all broad shoulders and narrow hips, with a very sweet line of hair leading down from his belly button. He has another eye tattooed directly over his sternum, the most detailed of all the many eye designs scattered over his joints. All his makeup is gone now, but his face is equally beautiful without it.   
Martin wants nothing more than to hide away from the scrutiny, but Gerry is looking at him in such a heated way that most of his self-consciousness withers and melts away.   
And Gerry does like what he sees very much. Martin is tall, and soft in all the right places and he is blushing in a way that reminds Gerry that he is still burning from their kiss earlier.   
"You know," Gerry says conversationally, pulling the conditioner down and running it through his newly purple hair. "If you keep using that Dom tone on me, you had better be prepared to make good on its promise."   
His words have the desired effect, and Martin's posture shifts subtly. "Oh?" The single word is dangerous and Gerry relishes in the thrill of it.   
"Hmmm. I think maybe," he says, allowing Martin to crowd him towards the back wall, "that you should make good on it. Right now, preferably."  
"If you keep up this little show, I definitely will be." Martin brackets him in, pressing their hips together slowly. He shudders softly when Gerry's erection presses against his stomach between them. "But maybe not until after we've had a proper talk."  
Gerry pouts but is quickly distracted when Martin kisses him. The kiss is slow and dragging and Gerry moans into him. Martin slips his tongue into Gerry's mouth at the opening. They part to breathe for a second, and the goth dives down to bite and suck at Martin's neck in much the same way he had been imagining earlier.   
"Gerry," Martin gasps out, as Gerry slides a hand down to grab his ass and grind their hips together, making Martin throb. "Boundaries?"  
"Anything, whatever, however you want me," Gerry groans into his shoulder. "Traffic light safewords."  
"Good. Shit, thanks for reminding me." Martin drags his head up to bring their lips back together, and Gerry slides a leg between Martin's own. "No, uh," Gerry stills at the word no, and Martin rushes on. "No penetration today? For me."   
"Of course, no fingers either?" Gerry asks, resuming his lips movement on Martin's jaw.   
"Fingers are fine," he manages to rush out, before pushing their lips back together desperately. Martin rocks his hips into Gerry's leg, his clit finding some friction at last where they grid together.   
Using one hand to keep their mouths locked together, Martin reaches down to grasp at Gerry's cock for the first time.   
Having him hot and heavy in his hand is almost enough to make Martin change his mind about having Gerry fuck him. He feels a pang of emptiness inside but knows that the shower is no place for him to navigate first-time penetration with anyone.   
His hand is slick with conditioner from Gerry's hair and he easily picks up a steady rhythm. Gerry, for his part, seems determined to occupy the same space as him, pushing in closer and bumping noses as they kiss frantically.   
Martin slips his hand up into Gerry's hair to pull him back a little and Gerry groans pleasantly with his head pushed back into the wall.   
He finally, finally gets the chance to suck a pretty bruise into Gerry's neck, getting to work on it enthusiastically.   
Gerry takes the extra attention that Martin's distraction provides him and works it towards getting a hand between them to sink into Martin's slick heat.   
"If you think for one second that I'm going to be the only person coming in here, you are so wrong," Gerry promises and manages to brush his fingers along Martin's clit.   
Martin gasps, surrendering his spot on Gerry's neck to lean back slightly and gaze up into his face.   
Martin is only an inch or two shorter really, but in here, doing this, pressed so closely together their skin might fuse together in the steam, it makes plenty of difference. "I wouldn't dream of it," Martin responds tartly, although the words are undercut with a moan as Gerry pushes one finger inside him, thumb continuing to rub maddeningly into his clit.  
It becomes a bit of a race after that, Gerry pressing against all Martin's most delicious spaces and Martin's hand like a vice around Gerry's dick.   
Martin wins, in the end, but only because he cheats. Feeling a desperate orgasm building at his core, Martin sends his spare hand around Gerry's back, and insistently rims his ass. Gerry shouts and comes abruptly, burying his head in Martin's shoulder.   
His hand trembles and slows enough between Martin's legs that he's edged instead of coming, and things slow for a moment as Gerry catches his breath.   
"All good?" Martin asks, when he straightens a bit, brushing their noses together sweetly as if one hand isn't still rubbing between his ass cheeks.  
"Fuck," Gerry responds emphatically. They laugh together, a little breathlessly before Gerry gets a very telling glint in his eye. He pulls his hand away from Martin and disentangles himself almost completely.   
Martin feels his stomach drop at the sudden loss of contact, but it's only for a second, as Gerry spins him around to press his back to Gerry's chest.   
One of Gerry's hands comes up to hold his throat gently, and the other resumes his relentless attention on Martin's clit. Their hips move together as Martin fucks himself into Gerry's hand and for a while, the only sounds are their heavy breaths and the warm water spilling down on them. His breath stutters and gasps and moans as he comes, Gerry groaning along with him in satisfaction.   
They're left panting in the stream of steady water, Martin awash in pink hair dye, and Gerry trembling rather dangerously. Gerry chooses to simply slide down to sit on the floor, and Martin is left staring down at him on shaking legs. He leans back against the shower door and grins happily.   
"I sincerely hope that expression means that was good for you, love," Gerry says, sliding a hand up Martin's leg, rubbing at the inside of his knee.   
"It was very, very good. Mind-blowing." Martin breaths out. His heart glows warmly in his chest, and he's shocked Gerry can't see the bliss shining out of his wet face.  
"Come sit with me." Gerry urges him insistently, "Before you fall down."  
"There's no space down there, Ger." Martin chuckles at the big man below him, even though he knows they both need the aftercare.   
Gerry leans forward, running both hands up the back of Martin's legs and drawing him down insistently. Martin goes, if only because his knees really cannot cope with anything more adventurous than being locked in his current state. He lands gently because Gerry seems to still have some command of his arms, astride his legs, and promptly tucks himself into his chest.   
They rock together slowly for a few moments, arms wrapped around each other and warm water surrounding them comfortably.   
If a few tears gather in either of their eyes, no one would ever know in the pervasive shower steam.   
Eventually, the part of Gerry that cares about the environment kicks back in, and he helps Martin wash his hair and get cleaned up, before hauling them both up and out the shower.  
Gerry seems perfectly content to stand stark naked in the middle of the bathroom while he tries to wrap Martin in every towel he can get his hands on. The whole room is awash in hair dye and seemingly random water now, but Martin can't bring himself to give a single fuck as Gerry runs a towel over his hair, now pink.   
Martin takes his third towel (excessive by anyone's measure) and wraps it around Gerry's shoulders, where his long hair seems to be losing enough moisture to fill a small bathtub.   
"I can dry myself, love." Martin points out, laughing softly.   
"You can, and so can I." Gerry replies smartly. "And after that performance, it seems like we can get plenty of things done very enjoyably together."   
Martin laughs again at Gerry's suggestively wagging eyebrows.   
He draws Gerry towards him by the elbows and twists their hands together to keep them briefly occupied.   
"So did you enjoy it? Was it what you wanted?" Martin doesn't try to inject confidence or dominance in his voice as he might at other times, rather taking a moment to check on his boy.   
"Yes, Martin, it was everything I wanted and so much more." Gerry's voice is slow and steady and he fills it with all his kaleidoscopic feelings so that maybe Martin can see how he makes Gerry feel.   
Which is where Jon finds them, once again locked together, this time actually naked.   
"Have a good time?" Jon queries, leaning against the doorframe.   
"Yes," they both tell him, looking over and smiling.  
"Good!" He tells them warmly, happy to see them both satisfied. "Lunch is ready if the pair of you can tear yourselves from your debauchery for long enough to eat."   
With a wink and a blown kiss, Jon disappears back out of the room.   
Gerry and Martin exchange an incredulous look.   
"Don't worry," Gerry murmurs into Martin's forehead as he places a gentle kiss there, "he doesn't know what debauchery is."  
"I'm sure we’ll be showing him at some point."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jon and Martin finally have sex. That's all there is to say here, really!   
> This would take place sometime after Chapter 11 of the main story, but the timing isn't really all that imperative. 
> 
> CW's:   
> Drunk, unsafe sex in a vaguely public place.   
> Under negotiated.   
> Some insecurity and jealously. (Resolved)   
> Fear of regret.

Jon had rather expected that when he had sex again, it would probably be with Gerry. Or perhaps both of them together. That was certainly what he had hoped for when he had watched Martin and Gerry together over the last several months, allowing himself to imagine what it might be like to join them.   
But where he found himself was tipsy, in his office at the library in the middle of a work party, with his hand down Martin's pants.  
He supposed that the three of them had been developing to some sort of desperate fever pitch (reminiscent of his early tumbles with Gerry) and none of them could have predicted where they might fall over the edge.  
Martin groans vehemently into Jon's mouth, his fingers finding just the right spot. "Jon, Jon, Jon," Martin chants like a prayer. "Please tell me you locked the fucking door?"   
Despite his current occupation, Jon blushes to hear profanity coming from Martin's normally sweet mouth and thinks maybe Gerry is rubbing off on him. Probably literally.   
"Yes." He mutters, biting a line up Martin's neck. "Can I take off your pants?"   
"Sure," Martin tells him, chuckling breathlessly, hands pulling desperately at Jon's clothes as well. He manages to get Jon out of his jacket and tie while Jon attacks his belt and manages to push his pants down Martin's hips, before being pulled back to Martin's warm heat like an addict.   
"I don't, ah, I don't have a condom." Jon whispers, sounding embarrassed. He has a burning desire to always be prepared for everything and this is the one eventuality he would never have predicted.   
"We don't need one if it doesn't bother you. I'm-," he cuts off abruptly as Jon's fingers find a particularly sensitive spot. "There, please."  
Jon repeats the movement and Martin practically levitates. He carefully files the information away for future reference and repeats it over and over, pressing down on his clit at the same time.   
Martin, slightly drunk and worked up and really really hot for the librarian, comes unexpectedly, biting down on Jon's neck to try to muffle his shouts.   
"You were saying?" Jon asks, leaning Martin back slightly to look at his face as his fingers continue to work him through his orgasm.   
Jon grins wickedly at Martin's wrecked face and can't help bringing their faces together to kiss sweetly for a moment.   
"I don't remember anything I've ever said before in my life, love," Martin tells him, panting.   
"You don't mind if we don't use a condom?"   
"Oh shit. Yeah, it's fine. I'm clean and it's safe." He laughs a bit, "I mean, I have been sleeping with Gerry, obviously."   
Jon bites at Martin's lip at the reminder. "Yes, I've noticed. I've been enjoying the show very much."  
"Oh, good. So, you're interested in sex?" Martin pauses as Jon gives him a bit of a look. "With me, I mean? Now?"   
"You're rambling," Jon whispers intently, making Martin flush even more. "Yes, I'm interested in sex with you, right now. The sooner the better, in fact."   
"Yeah?" Martin is pulling Jon back towards him as he speaks, and words become inconsequential as their tongues tangle and their bodies try to press together ever closer.   
Jon keeps pulling at Martin's clothing until he's naked in front of him, curves warm and hypnotic. Jon is so distracted by his attempts to strip Martin that by the time Martin is bare before him, Jon is almost fully dressed still, and Martin looks annoyed by it.   
He reaches for Jon's belt but pauses, biting his lip.   
"Are you sure this is something you want to do?" Martin asks very seriously, looking Jon in the eye unflinchingly. "I'm happy to stop now or go slower or anything you want."  
"I like this," Jon whispers to him like a secret, "Having you naked in my arms, in my office, for God's sake." This forces a shocked laugh out of Martin. "I want this and I want you and I know we've waited but I'm sure. If you're sure?"   
"I'm very, very sure." They kiss again, more slowly this time, until Jon's hands slide down to Martin's ass and he pushes their hips together torturously.   
"Okay, you need to get naked, right now." Martin gasps out desperately.   
Once they manage to get him stripped, using too many hands and taking too many breaks to kiss and nip and touch, Martin backs toward the table again, Jon following him closely.   
Martin slides back onto the table slightly, Jon still pressing close and kissing intently.   
Jon is built tight and compact and a little shorter than Martin, but with the table, the angle works fine, and when he finally, finally grips Martin's thighs and slips up into his soft heat, Jon considers just combusting on the spot.   
They let out matching groans and just sit a moment panting together, overwhelmed.   
Jon hasn't been with anyone in what feels like a literal lifetime and has never been inside someone before.   
Even though he doesn't often experience any kind of sexual attraction, Martin and Gerry have a special magnetism, a gravity that has slowly pulled Jon closer and closer until his libido caught and he wanted to be with them, even if it was more the physical stimulus that drove his desire up then a typical attraction.   
And now he's finally with Martin and completely unexpected tears fill his eyes and all he wants is to stay inside him forever, until the world dies and they go down with it, together until the end.   
When he recovers himself, Jon slides his hips back before driving back up into him. Martin moans, hands catching at his shoulders desperately as if Jon is his anchor and he is trying very hard not to drown.  
They catch an enthusiastic rhythm as they move together. The table creaks and Martin secretly hopes they break it, evidence of all the feelings spooling in his chest, waiting to burst.   
Jon's fingers curl around Martin's hips and his own hope is that they leave bruises, there to see in the light of day so he can remember this forever.   
Honestly, Jon is overwhelmed at the new sensation and knows he won't be lasting any reasonable amount of time at all.   
Remembering the sensitive spot from earlier, Jon tilts his hips slightly differently in the hopes of hitting it and is filled with frantic gratitude when Martin throws his head back in response.   
Martin brings a hand down between them, and after a few more thrusts in just the right way, Martin shudders and comes apart beneath him.   
Martin grips like a vice around him, and Jon lets himself tip over the edge along with him. 

Even being a group of three who often sleep in beds that are much too small, Jon and Martin are still shocked when they manage to fall asleep together on the couch in Jon's office at the library.   
They wake blissed out but stiff and hungover, grateful to find themselves still in the early hours of the morning. The party is long quiet and the library is an empty silver ghost town in the moonlight as they stumble out.   
They go back to Gerry's and find him smoking and painting, as he almost always is on a Friday in the very early hours of the morning.   
He raises an eyebrow at their squinting eyes and bedraggled states. "Good party?"  
"Shut up." Jon barely whispers on the way past as they manage to drag themselves up the stairs to bed.   
Gerry's soft, knowing laughter follows them back to sleep. 

"How was it?" Gerry's voice asks someone far away.   
"Incredible. Amazing. Out of this world." Martin's voice responds, and even without being able to see his face, Jon can hear the blank unhappiness in his tone. He feels himself abruptly return all the way to consciousness.   
"What's wrong then?" Gerry asks quietly. Jon can hear them moving around in the en suite bathroom quietly.   
"Nothing," Martin whispers back, adding false brightness to his voice.   
"Martin, don't lie to me. You don't have to say anything, but don't lie to me." Gerry's voice is firm and Jon can imagine him inserting himself in Martin's personal space to force his attention.   
There's silence for a long moment.   
"We were drunk." Martin's voice is quieter than ever.   
"Ah, so you're worried he didn't really think it through." Gerry sounds almost neutral, but Jon can hear the dangerous edge in his voice.   
"… yes."   
"How did you do it?" Gerry asks carefully, aware that he's treading on rocky ground, pushing for details about a moment he wasn't a part of.   
"He fucked me," Martin says very coldly, and Jon's stomach drops.   
"Hard to do that unless you actually mean it, love."   
"You can mean something in the moment and then regret it later." At that, Jon is tempted to get up and go interrupt them, but… there's a part of him, a very toxic, insecure part, that whispers that Gerry is better at this, knows exactly how Martin needs aftercare, that Jon will just mess it up worse anyway.   
"Martin, I can't imagine you didn't check with him."   
"I did, twice."   
"So then where is this guilt coming from? He loves you, he wanted to be with you. You both clearly enjoyed it." Gerry says this with such confidence that Jon is abruptly reminded that he and Jon have been together in the past, that he's seen Jon after sex and knows the moods that correspond to that, even after all this time. "Don't let your anxiety take this from you."   
"You're right. I'm sorry, I'm just-" Martin disappears, Gerry cutting him off by wrapping Martin in his arms.   
"Don't be sorry. I'm here for you, for this, if you need it, but will you promise me you'll talk to him about this? Nothing I say can ease what you're feeling and you shouldn't let these feelings sit in that gentle heart of yours."   
"I promise." Jon thinks that maybe Gerry kisses him at that, but it's hard to tell.   
Jon is rarely jealous when it comes to his partners, even when Gerry flirts with Tim or drunk people amicably at the bar, or he sees the way the pair of them look at each other after sex as if their world has shifted on its axis and suddenly they each need the other person to breathe instead of oxygen, a feeling he can rather understand at the moment, as the air crushes out of his lungs.   
It fills him with something very ugly indeed to hear Gerry soothing Martin after he slept with Jon.   
Wasn't that meant to be his job? He was the one supposed to be doing the aftercare. Even he knows that.   
Gerry has always been exceptionally talented at after. Even when they were messy teenagers, Gerry's focused attention and ease with words had lent itself to a lot of post intimacy comfort, even the non-sexual kind they have been exploring in the course of their current relationship.   
Jon catches himself craving it in that moment, which just confuses him since it's Gerry comforting Martin that filled him with dread in the first place.   
Relationships are complicated things, he reminds himself firmly. Especially with three people.   
Gerry emerges from the bathroom first, and seeing Jon's eyes open, blows him a kiss before turning and jogging down the stairs.   
Martin follows a second later, looking rough. Jon hopes it's mostly the hangover.   
Despite the guilt and sadness Jon heard from him before, Martin beelines straight back to the bed and tucks himself into Jon's side. His skin is cold, and Jon curls them up together, hoping to fill Martin with physical warmth, if nothing else.   
They lie on their sides, foreheads pressed together. Martin closes his eyes, but Jon watches him, searching for just the right words to make him understand how Jon feels about what they did together.   
“Martin-” Jon starts.   
“You don’t have to say anything.” Martin interrupts him, carefully avoiding his eyes.   
“You just promised Gerry you would speak to me,” Jon says, put out. Martin’s face twists in embarrassment at being caught out. “Just, tell me what to say to convince you that I love every second that we’re together, and last night was probably the best thing that I’ve ever done with this ridiculous body of mine and that I love you and I will never, ever regret you or being with you or anything we do together. Being ace doesn't mean I don't want to have this part of our relationship.”   
“Yeah?” Martin asks, expression lifting.   
“Yeah,” Jon whispers, leaning in and kissing him until they’re both breathless. “Are you okay now? Do you need to talk more?”   
Martin smiles with his usual warmth, “I think I’m all good for now. I really love you, Jon.”   
“I love you too, Martin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
